Bond: Do you expect me to crash?
Gates: No, Mr. Bond - I expect you to die!
Monday, 20 July 2009
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
Smoking Considered Productive
It came to me recently that if you smoke, you can achieve more boring tasks. Merely chainsmoking the cigarette or cigar means time passes more smoothly, because you're in a constant state of euphoria.
So what about other drugs? Alcohol has the problem that it destroys brain cells, amphetamines can cause serious problems, but tobacco or nicotine only has problems much later.
I'm not condoning it, and I don't smoke, but I think tobacco is why the British Empire grew so big.
So what about other drugs? Alcohol has the problem that it destroys brain cells, amphetamines can cause serious problems, but tobacco or nicotine only has problems much later.
I'm not condoning it, and I don't smoke, but I think tobacco is why the British Empire grew so big.
Saturday, 11 July 2009
Movie Cliche #2 - I'm Innocent
In every prison film, and some legal dramas, there is a point where the hero says "I'm innocent really", and the other guy says "I'm innocent too! We all are!".
Well I want to call a halt! Next time try something original like "I'm not innocent at all. I'm a savage mindless killer with black teeth" - and then - "I'm guilty too! We all are!"
Well I want to call a halt! Next time try something original like "I'm not innocent at all. I'm a savage mindless killer with black teeth" - and then - "I'm guilty too! We all are!"
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Indestructible Fruit Stands
In my Trixy screenplay Race to the Top, at one point she's saying to a business advisor her new business idea: indestructible fruit stands for use in the movie industry in those lengthy car chases.
What an amusing idea! ;-)
What an amusing idea! ;-)
Sunday, 5 July 2009
Movie 'The Rock' and Safety First
From my 2006 sitcom script (Trixy is the name of a character in the sitcom):
TRIXY
What gets me about The Rock is this. Don Simpson made these great characters, but he forgot one minor detail. Why would someone put the world's deadliest substance in little melt-style bath-foam receptacles? That's like putting napalm in an orange juice carton.
TRIXY
What gets me about The Rock is this. Don Simpson made these great characters, but he forgot one minor detail. Why would someone put the world's deadliest substance in little melt-style bath-foam receptacles? That's like putting napalm in an orange juice carton.
Sunday, 28 June 2009
Wikipedia: Written In Crayon
Wikipedians complain about edits being 'jokes' or 'graffiti'.
That's the myth, as it is in publishing.
That's the myth, as it is in publishing.
On the one hand, they say a novel is 'written in crayon'.
On the other hand, with a well-crafted novel that they can't sell, what is the excuse there? Simple, they just don't say it in public.
This is the same with Wikipedia: Perfectly reasonable edits that are flamed down with arbitrary rules, with the public excuse, again: 'Written in crayon'.
Friday, 26 June 2009
Telephone Etiquette in Movies
I always wonder why in films (and some TV), when people are done on the phone, they just hang up. No 'bye!' and no 'talk to you soon'.
The only explanation is that this saves precious seconds of airtime. The other explanation is that Americans are too rude to say farewell.
Either way, Columbo gets it right by saying Thankyou at the end of a call. What a true gentleman!
[Postscript, mystery solved] It appears that when you hang up an American phone, there is an audible 'click' on the other person's line. This was funnily enough, in a Columbo episode too.
The only explanation is that this saves precious seconds of airtime. The other explanation is that Americans are too rude to say farewell.
Either way, Columbo gets it right by saying Thankyou at the end of a call. What a true gentleman!
[Postscript, mystery solved] It appears that when you hang up an American phone, there is an audible 'click' on the other person's line. This was funnily enough, in a Columbo episode too.
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