Monday, 20 July 2009

Windows 007

Bond: Do you expect me to crash?

Gates: No, Mr. Bond - I expect you to die!

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Smoking Considered Productive

It came to me recently that if you smoke, you can achieve more boring tasks. Merely chainsmoking the cigarette or cigar means time passes more smoothly, because you're in a constant state of euphoria.

So what about other drugs? Alcohol has the problem that it destroys brain cells, amphetamines can cause serious problems, but tobacco or nicotine only has problems much later.

I'm not condoning it, and I don't smoke, but I think tobacco is why the British Empire grew so big.

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Movie Cliche #2 - I'm Innocent

In every prison film, and some legal dramas, there is a point where the hero says "I'm innocent really", and the other guy says "I'm innocent too! We all are!".

Well I want to call a halt! Next time try something original like "I'm not innocent at all. I'm a savage mindless killer with black teeth" - and then - "I'm guilty too! We all are!"

Thursday, 9 July 2009

Indestructible Fruit Stands

In my Trixy screenplay Race to the Top, at one point she's saying to a business advisor her new business idea: indestructible fruit stands for use in the movie industry in those lengthy car chases.

What an amusing idea! ;-)

Sunday, 5 July 2009

Movie 'The Rock' and Safety First

From my 2006 sitcom script (Trixy is the name of a character in the sitcom):


What gets me about The Rock is this. Don Simpson made these great characters, but he forgot one minor detail. Why would someone put the world's deadliest substance in little melt-style bath-foam receptacles? That's like putting napalm in an orange juice carton.